Drum Roll..........

Fanfare.............

Chorus of Heavenly Angels................

It is complete. The beast is purring quietly beside me in all it's black shinyness (with blue neon lights). Vista (ultimate 64 bit) is installed and working. All is well. Well sort off. I had unexpected expenditure in the form of a new modem, because my impeccable planning missed one tiny element. Interested then pull a up a chair and I will regale you with the story (if not read NLPH's blog as listed at the side because that is funny) For those still with me it goes something like this. I had downloaded all the drivers required for the graphics card, I had ensured that all the software I had was compatible, all system disks present and correct. Loaded Vista, went like a dream, loaded drivers, super smashing great, loaded system disks excellent, plugged in all the peripherals (printers etc) recognised them first time, brilliant. Attach Broadband modem....umm why is there only 1 red light when there should be 2 green. Attempt to load software, no joy, use a variety of geeky tricks nothing, zilch, zero. Last ditch ring orange (my Internet provider, used to be called wanadoo and prior to that freeserve). Nice lady called sue answered. Somewhere south of Bombay. Ahhhh. Very Helpful but.... After some protracted discussion, it was finally established that Vista doesn't support my modem or vice versa. I was informed that I could try XP as it would work with that. I put the phone down. Got the car keys and drove to the nearest PC World. One round trip later (50 miles) new router/modem plugged in, installed and surfing to my hearts content. I consider myself quite tech savy and genuinely thought that as the modem was only an external device designed to enable my phone line to be broadband compliant that it would work irrespective of the operating system employed. Wrong with a capital W. It only goes to show that there is always something to learn. And yes, I did indeed swear a lot and curse microsoft, but I should have checked. I also bought Office 2007 (not the complete version because that is, wait for this FIVE HUNDRED QUID!!!!!!!. It was bad enough shelling out £99 for the abridged home office version. Who on earth spends £500 on an office application (probably the same ones who spend a fortune on their computer. (Yes it is an emoticon but I couldn't figure out a way of me going um, er ).

Anyway I am now typing this incredibly slowly on a really fast computer but thats progress.

Keep well

 

The beast is built, but it still sits idly. The reason. I have, of course, changed my mind. I decided to go down the Vista route and I have therefore purchased Vista Ultimate. It is the OEM version (no manual, one machine install only and no on-line support from microsoft) but it is a fraction of the price compared to PC World et al. It would be similar in principle to the disk you would get if you were to purchase a complete system from a manufacturer (normally termed recovery disk or something like that). It will hopefully arrive tomorow and then we shall see. I have also downloaded all the latest drivers for the other bits onto my dongle and everything is ready to go. I merely await the postman (or delivery company). I am again, of course, not holding my breath.

Away from the geeky tech world that I sort of inhabit, I had the most pleasuarable of experiences today. My daughter had rung up asking if we could babysit (see previous entries re:insufferably cute grandaughter) so of course it was a yes (she and her other half are building some sort of rockery for the other Grannie). Baby duly arrives, and, as she who must be obeyed is busy doing work for her business I was appointed chief babysitter. We played with all the noisy things, we had an orange (most messy and sticky), we went for a walk. Then she decided that enough was enough and it was time for a nap. So with her asleep in my arms I watched the telly. I can safely say there is nothing like holding a sleeping baby to bring a feeling of utmost calm and peace to yourself. I think maybe that world leaders, fanatics (are they the same thing), and other such types should have sleeping babies placed in their arms and hopefully instead of ranting and destroying each other (and the world) they would experience calm and contentment. But probably not. I think you would be hard pressed to find a mother willing to let George Dubbya hold her most cherished or allow some ranting cleric within 10 miles of  a tiny tot, but I think it is quite a good theory.

Well must go, peace and well being to everyone........(fades to the sound of the coke advert jingle "I'd like to teach the world to sing......."

Well all the bits for the beast are now here and I have started assembling it. I have not made my mind up whether I should install Windows Vista (Premium) or stick with tried and tested XP. The graphic card I have purcgased is a new 8800 card and the drivers for Vista are still a bit iffy, so I shall probably wait until Service Pack 1 for Vista arrives and then install it. Aside from the new computer build I have also taken down she who must be obeyed's website. The reason for this is that she and her partner have a whole raft of new stuff so I have put up a temporary site until I have decided on the layout and content of the new site. I have enrolled on a Dreamweaver and Flash course for this and hopefully by the time I have finished, their new site will look vaguely professional. The temporary web site is at www.temparia.co.uk and I would like any thoughts on it's layout etc. Any comments good or bad will be greatly appreciated. All this is of course has left me little time for anything else, but I did have good news this week. I had a 3 month blood check and my glucose control is excellent (the doctor's words!!) my cholestrol is 4.8 (should be less than 5) and finally, I have dropped below the 14 Stone mark (been stalled thre for a while now). The only bad bit was that he advised me to keep off the alcohol for another 6 months (a year with no beer!!!!!!!) this was purely for dietary and sugar control reasons and not becuase he thought I was an alcoholic.

Well toodle pip until next time.

As I said previously what could possibly go wrong. It would appear that the PSU I wanted is not in Stock So I have changed it for a 620W modular model. This was early on Friday morning and as I was checking later to see how the order was now progressing I was informed that the cooling fan I wanted was also out of stock. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I duly cancelled the fan so that they could complete my order and get the rest of the bits out to me, so they should be here Monday. By the way, for those interested I have ordered a new fan ( A Big Typhoon which is exceptionally large and shiny). So hopefully fingers crossed and small children duly sacrificed I should have the bits by Monday, Built Tuesday Night, Software in Wednesday night and super high speed 3D-o-rama surfing Thursday night. I am not of course holding my breath.

Toodle Pip

The time has come, as it must, in every geeks life. The time to upgrade. I have flexed the mighty card that is for credit (it bent a little bit so it must be allright) and have spent some, much, lots of money, depending on who I am talking too. For other geeks it is lots, for the other half it is some and for the rest somewhere in between. I have purchased a new case, PSU, mobo, processor, Graphics card, memory etc. Hopefully the bits will have arrived by friday, Saturday to put it together and Sunday to install all software and updates. Monday write blog to tell how swimmingly it all went. Yeah right. Without doubt some great fly will undoubtedly land in the soup and drink all the best bits knowing my luck. Even so, no matter how goochy and blindingly quick it is, it will not improve my typing speed, nor will it make my blog anymore interesting, but it will do these things stonkingly quickly with 3D surround-a-gore-allsinging-lightshaded-physicsenabled-directx10-effectamongous beauty. I shall also be recycling the old machine to ensure that I behave in an ecologically sensitive way (the new machine also has green components with type A efficiency ratings). Yes it maybe a bit drastic to play solitaire at lightspeed but I have finally bit the bullet and gone down the dual core route. The real reason I have decided to upgrade is quite sad and it runs a bit like this. I was walking round PC world as you do and saw they had a bargain bucket software shelf. Quick mosey through the range and I noticed "URU. Ages beyond Myst". Now some of you might remember Myst it was a very visual adventure game with a series of quite hard ( at least I thought they were) puzzles to solve. I liked Myst, this is only £4.99 I will buy it and play it. Duly bought said item took it home and installed it. Attempted to play it Computer says NO. Tried again. Computer says NO. Switched off anything and everything that might be running in Background. Computer says NO. AAaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhh. £4.99 released in 2003 and my present machine says NO. So that was it, Teddy completely thrown out of the Cot, new computer on order all for the sake of £4.99. Well must go the other half is enquiring just how much some actually is. Well you know a bit more than thruppence but most definitely good valus and look at the speed and what a nice colour and.........

I try, in general, to be as green as I can possibly be. I turn off all lights that are not needed, I try (where the other half permits) to turn the heating down to a minimum. I recycle all our glass, papers and tin cans and all the cuttings etc go in our brown bin for composting. I walk most places (unfortunately I need a car to go to work, 60 mile round trip, with little or no public transport as an alternative), and yes we did go to New York for a holiday but a flight every decade is probably not over doing it. I raise this point because there are a lot of people in the Highlands who would like to recycle plastic. I am aware that this is difficult and quite costly, because there are so many different grades of plastic recycling. So with that in mind the question was raised if there would be a plastic recycling facility between the 2 councils of Moray and the Highlands, apparently not, too expensive was the reply. So what did our illustrious Council and Scottish executive do? Spend 16 million quid on Gaelic ( a language that is spoken by less than 3% of the population), we can have dual language road signs but I can't recycle plastic. I am all for preserving cultures, but at what cost. I feel the planet could probably do without a TV channel devoted exclusively to Gaelic, but another landfill site full of plastic bottles it most definitely doesn't need. As it happens due to the lack of landfill sites the rubbish that isn't recyclable is driven by very large lorries from Inverness through to Aberdeen ( a round trip journey of some 200 miles) every day. Very green I don't think. I am sure that given the chance, and with a bit of mandatory law thrown in, people would recycle most things. As we became more aware of the waste, the pressure would grow on the supermarkets and manufactures to stop wrapping everything in a ton of plastic, less plastic use, less chemical and oil and coal  use (see wikipedia entry for how plastic is made). The longer then would our natural resources last. I am not a miltant tree hugger, but I like to do my little bit, and if everbody did a little bit, I am sure that it would soon amount to a very big bit. Anyway I am now preaching.

Cheerio

An entry so soon after the last one, this one I think is more thought provoking and certainly more worrying than most. I like to surf the web and I have a variety of sites I like to visit (no, not THAT sort), one of them had this link of an American Artist who has used some quite mind boggling statistics to produce his art. The link is HERE .

 

 

 

It has been a while since the last outing on the blog-o-thingy, so as I know you are all waiting with baited breath, I shall update you. It is the reporting season at work and I have had to write 6 of them so far. I don't know if many of you have had to write personal appraisals, but I find them a bit of a pain. I am fine once I get started but sometimes I just sit and stare at the screen waiting for the first words to magically appear. I find that if I play solitaire or patience I can achieve a near zen like feeling of empty headiness and hopefully at that point the first sentence will form and all will be well. Generally though I just play another game and before you know it, it is bedtime and another day has passed. I feel it is my duty to do the best possible appraisal as it is peoples future careers that you are dealing with, but sometimes when you work with turkeys it is difficult to soar with the eagles, as they say. I usually give myself a phrase or saying as a challenge to get it into a report and at the moment I am attempting to casually slide the word effulgent into one. Look it up, as I am sure my boss will have to when he reads it. I have before managed to get the song title "I am a Walus" into a report by ensuring that each letter appeared at the start of a sentence an as you looked down the left hand side of the page so there was the title. It got past my boss, so I was smug. For anyone who feels aghast that I should be so trivial in the writing of these reports, that one was excellent and the person concerned was promoted, so I can't be too bad. We are supposed to do them at work,but like most places there is never enough time, so you end up doing them at home, I have 3 for this weekend and that should be the end of it.

Away from the reporting world I am due to have a/some Retinopathy. Apparently the hospital are going to stick crushed glass and razors and giant syringes into my soft squidgy eyeballs to see if my diabetes has affected my sight. Well allright some eyedrops and then they take a picture (can it be used for my new biometric passport?). As I am already suposed to wear glasses for long distance stuff how do they know? The most annoying thing is that I am still trying to break through the 14 stone mark I am hovering on 14 stone 1 pound and the scales will not budge no matter what I do (I am aiming for 13 stone). Drastic measure are needed so I have decided to get the old chainsaw out and remove some of the less essential bits. Seriously though, it probably means that I will have to up the exercise and cut the calories a bit more.

So with my new found proclivity for elucidation and magniloquent orotund report writing I shall bid you farewell.

I am thinking, in the utmost seriousness, to have my head encased in concrete. This I feel is the only way to avoid the inanity, intrusion and otherwise intolerable pile of poop that is Big Brother (and indeed all "reality" TV). I feel that we have indeed lost the plot when the "Mother" of all Parliaments has debates about this stuff, the written press (even the broadsheets), the telly and the radio all have it at the top of their news headlines and various talking heads are given the leeway to pontificate on this Horse Sh*t. In my view 3 ignoramuses have let their petty jealousies get to them and they have descended into play ground squabbling and bitchiness. They have picked on the different one. This is repeated in school playgrounds up and down the country and across all ages. It is nothing new. In my days at school, kids with glasses were "specky four eyes", those whose parents were poor and had their school dinner tickets provided for them were "Gypsies or Tinks" (just to make sure that every child knew who were the poor ones, they gave them different colour tickets!) and so on. The list was endless and in general it was harmless. It continues in adult life, I am folically challenged and "hey Baldy" is not uncommon, I get on with my life (hey fatty is not so common now due to the ongoing diet). There will always be people who feel that they have the right to say what they think, it just sems that these days these people happen to make it onto the telly. Whilst all this was being debated, written or spoken about, the Inflation rate in this country was rising, more people were going to be homeless or bankrupt through rising interest rates, our soldiers were still dying doing their duty and our planet continued it's slow death through the inaction of Governments. But hey lets not worry about that, lets talk complete pants about some worthless individuals. The only bright side to this is that channel 4 might have shot themselves in the foot and we will not have to suffer another series. I am not holding my breath on this one though. I suppose that commenting as I have on this rubbish that I am indeed helping to keep it going, but it had got my goat enough for me to want to comment. The question in the final analysis is, is this racisit? I don't think it was. Bigotted...yes, inane...yes, plain stupid and bitchy...yes, overtly racist probably not. Indeed as the very decent Indian lady said on the morning news as she was interviewed "Racist no, stupid yes" Unfortuantely the interviewer was not interested in this view and continued to grill the poor lady on why she thought that the comments were racist, but when has telly ever let the truth get in the way of a good story. And before I am taken to task over how bullying can cause serious problems, I agree. When inividuals are persecuted to the point where they feel they are worthless, or that life is not worth living then there is a problem. The point about the Big Brother thing is, it is bullying and I think that is what the talking heads should have been going on about, not the racist aspect. But what do I know.

Well I have added my ten pence worth, and I am sure some people will agree and others think I am slightly to the right of Hitler. I just think that this row should never have made the news like it has and that somehow another brick has been lost in the structure that is common sense and good taste.

Adios Amigos whoever and wherever you are.

 

Acording to my "The Far Side" tear one off a day calendar it is January the 9th and a Tuesday. The highlight of each morning is to tear the previous days sheet off and chortle to myself as I eat my soggies prior to going to work. Soggies by the way is cereal or my particular case Oatibix. Should you be wondering, or even vaguely interested. I only mention this because in amongst the usual depressing news and what not was the story of the man who stole a stand up urinal from a pub. Apparently it was a memento of his visit. I marveled at this story for the sheer cheek and audacity of the thief. The only drawback is that if the toilet was anything like most male toilets in pubs the urinal would be smelly and full of gum and fag ends. ( this must be the major benefit for pub cleaners in Scotland no more fag ends since the smoking ban). Anyway apparently he has handed himself (and the toilet) into police after cctv images of him sticking the loo in his rucksack were posted around the world. The landlord has said he is going to stick it on the world as a reminder of the occassion. I only hope the more inebriated regulars don't avail themselves of this facility in mistake! And this brings me back to Gary Larson and The Far Side. Surreal cartoons to  atch a surreal world.

Other than that it is cold, wet and dark.

Toodle pip

 

Jan 5th and I have already posted 3 times. Gosh. The only reason for this entry is to explain a mistake should the individual concerned come to this site. Confused. I shall explain.

It was dark and stormy night, the wind howled the rain smashed against the windows like tiny atom bombs.......... Well okay it was this morning and it is actually very sunny.  I opened my e-mail as usual and there was an invite from Bertykat (see man city bird in blogs I like list) to be added to her friends list. I accepted. I then thought I shall try to add other friends. It must be easy this is microsoft after all. I know I shall add NLPH (see list again) I am sure she would oblige. So I went into the add page pasted in her blog site address (or so I thought) and saved. That's an intersting picture I thought as it came up Why has she got a picture of some Scandanavian type bloke? (she has a car park for her image, she is mad after all). I then noticed the name Nordmorning (or something like that). It would seem that I have apparently invited some random bloke to be my friend. So if said indivdual does come to my site I am sorry for any confusion caused, but please do feel free to read this and those mentioned at the side. I then removed him ( in case he thinks I am some weirdo!) which has probably caused more confusion in his e-mail box. So sorry again. Well I thought, I build computers, I have creted websites, I can program, this must be easy ( a man city supporter did it after all :-|) ). And lo and behold go to the intended blogsite and click the add as friend button. Doh. Ah well these things are sent to try me. Enjoy the weekend.

 

Well it had to happen. Back to work today and what an effort it was. Up at 0550 in the dark and howling gales that are currently blowing across Northern Scotland. And then that deep joyous feeling you get when you walk through the workplace doors (yeah right). Ahhh it was great to be back. Back to the daily grind, but at least it's Friday tomorrow and that means the weekend. Hurrah.

Other than that it has been a quiet New Year so far. I saw the Bells in with a nice glass of water and a carrot on a stick (much better for you than a sausage).  It will be interesting to see how the year goes but I am firmly committed to my resolutions and with luck it will be a much slimmer fitter me that writes here come the summer. I am open to offers if anyone can tell me where to find the Instant diet and fitness pill (with side effects of making you look 10 years younger) as I feel this is a much better option than sweating heavily on some infernal treadmill. I am not of course holding my breath but you never know.

Toodle Pip

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seasons Greetings to one and all. Well happy nearly New Year anyway.

I hope Santa was good to you all and that you got everything you wished for. If you didn't it was probably because you were bad. I got everything I wished for (socks, smelly stuff, book tokens etc) because I knew that if I wished for what I get every year it would arrive, thus avoiding any disappointment. If I had let the family know that what I actually wanted was a remote controlled helipcopter, a new zoom lens for my new camera and loads of top notch computer goodies then I am sure they would have obliged. Yeah Right. Socks next year anyone?

    In my last blog outing I mentioned that I was due to get my results. I did. They were good. Which was nice. The Doctors at the diabetic clinic were very impressed that I had lost weight, kept my glucose under control, wasn't drinking and was behaving extremely well. The only fly in the ointment was the diabetic nurse, who brought me down to earth with a bump. He said, basically it will only get worse, your beta cells (or some such thing) are knackered (apparently you start with about 1,000,000 and they don't renew), you have blown 400,000 and so when you don't get your diet right you kill more. At this point I had a picture in my head of these cells leaping lemming like, off a glucose cliff, whilst nearby stood a grim reaper like figue with an electronic scoreboard 600,000...599,999....599,998...599,997... well you get the picture. He did say it could be one or two years or ten or twenty or forty years ( nothing like hedging your guess) before this happens depending on how I behave. I will point out that he was also a diabetic (type 1) and had a rather large beer gut, which as he was telling me how diet and good behaviour can make all the difference struck me as a bit rich. Anyway the dietician, podiatrist, and head honcho of the clinic were all happy and they will see me this time next year. I just have to have blood taken every three months as a check. So all in all not to bad. On a final note to this subject I will say that as we sat in the clinic there were a lot of very big (and I mean BIG) young people (as well as some very large nurses and doctors, who should know better!!) who were all waiting to be seen. If nothing else as you read this please take care of your bodies, it is a right pain in the butt watching everything that you eat and taking blood every day. You can still drink and eat but do so in moderation and remember the exercise, here endeth the lesson.

     On the diet side Christmas has been a nightmare, everywhere you go people have piles and piles of sweeties, shortbread, cakes and crisps. Add to that, the the lakes of beer and wine, and inevitably I start Bah Humbugging wherever I go. What is wrong with you people, Put out jugs of Iced water and bowls with carrots and celery. Bah Humbug indeed. Of course she who must be obeyed has ignored my pitiful wailings and filled all available receptacles with sweeties and biscuits. For some reason I find myself sitting in the shed a lot, muttering about the duplicity and nastiness of the Human race, whilst eating beetroot on a stick (that I have carefully crafted into sausage shapes).

      I have added a photo of the insufferably cute (and always happy) Grandaughter in her Santa outfit. Apparently you are allowed to do this to small children at xmas time without the RSPCC reporting you for some sort of fashion abuse.

      Well a prosperous, happy and healthy New year to you all.

599,996...599,995...

 

Well here I am again. I am not sure if this is going to be a one off or maybe a mini series or even possibly a complete season, who knows. Who cares. I shall update you first with all that has been happening in my life. As most are aware I was diagnosed as being a type 2 diabetic just before my 41st Birthday in July (I get great gifts!!) and to be honest it was self inflicted (see previous blog entries). The outcome of it all was being told to stop drinking and loose weight (I had got to nearly 18 stone). I can now say that after 4 1/2 months that I have lost over 3 stone and have not had a single drop of alcohol in all that time. I feel much better for it and to be honest I have not really missed the drink. I do admit though that occassionally (like watching the football) that it would be nice to have a pint. The reason I don't is that I am a social drinker and feel that one would turn to two, two to three etc etc in an atmosphere of football, good friends and such like so abstinence is better. Also luckily I don't mind water and salad so it is has not been all doom and gloom. I am aiming to get down to around the 13 stone mark (I used to do a lot of weightlifting and weight exercise and still have a fair amount of muscle mass if anyone is thinking that I should probably be aiming get down to 12 stone, besides it's cold in Northern Scotland in the winter and you don't see thin seals!) So I am happy on that front. I had another blood test on tuesday which will give me the last three months results and how my glucose control is going so fingers crossed that I have been doing the right things.

On the domestic front I took time off and took the other half on a suprise weeks holdiay to New York. Aside from being the first time she has been to America and the first time she has flown (other than on her broomstick of course) it went very well. We walked miles and miles and saw all the good things and did all the tourist bits. The hotel was fantatstic ( Just a block away from Time Square) and we also saw a show on Broadway (Les Miserable) which was superb. I can honestly recomend the City to anyone for Trip but you will need time off after it, to recover.

I have hopefully attached some photos of said holiday.

I am also eagerly awaiting my copy of the lovingly crafted The Little Red Telephone Book which is of course the book of the moment from our very own NLPH which I have ordered through Amazon. Click on the title and you will be magically transported to a place where you may purchase it, what more could one wish for.

I will be back soon to update on the results and on the other stuff that I have been doing. In the meantime enjoy the party season and remember that it is perfectly acceptable at this time of year to get outrageously drunk, insult the boss, be sick on their partners and get caught in compromising situations with your work colleagues  it is xmas after all.

Toodle Pip

Greetings one and all,

I am again sorry for the lack of blog output but as usual I have an excuse. I have finally finished (well definitely maybe) the aspect of my job that took me all over the country (last weekend was the last trip). Whilst it has been interesting visiting cities and towns I wouldn't have done otherwise, the driving up and down the country has been particularly hard this year ( uncomfortable even with air conditioning). Add to this, the fact that in the last couple of months I have also given up alcohol and unhealthy food (kebabs etc) which has made nights out a lot less interesting (the other half reckons you can have a great night out while still sober (proof if any is needed that women are definitely from some other planet!!), but I disagree on that viewpoint). So I am back to some sort of normality. I have also continued to develop the website for the aforementioned other half and her hand made cards and gifts enterprise (If I can get away with it I shall put a link on here when it is complete but the mighty msn have probably got cyborgs or some such to come and get me should I dare). Before some wag points out that I claimed in a previous entry that I had finished the site, then they were right. Unfortunately the product range has evolved, I now have microsoft front page and the two sort of collided, so I have redeveloped and expanded it. Therefore I have been chained to a computer desk until I have finished it. Now why this may appeal to some of the weirder aspects of the fetish brigade, it has been a particularly sunny weekend so far, there is lots of football on and a myriad of other excuses to shy away from PHP, MySQL, HTML, XTML and an infinite variety of other acronyms. I have now bored even myself so I shall move onto other matters.

    On the diabetes front it is good news, I have to take my blood sugar levels every morning (before I eat) as an indication of my fasting levels. When I first started 8 odd weeks ago I was averaging 12-15 it is now averaging 6-7, which according to the vet is great. I have also lost 22 pounds and the blood pressure is good as well. I have to have another blood test around the 10th of December and I get to see the specialist a week later (not bad for the NHS only a 4 month wait). Hopefully it will show a marked improvement on the 3 month glucose trend. So with the weight coming off I am contemplating (not very hard mind you) increasing the exercise regime. I walk a lot anyway but to tighten up all the flabby bits I may very well have to go the gym. This is indeed drastic stuff and I will have to lie down and think very carefully about it.

    On the family front the grandaughter is doing fantastic she is now 4 months old and as far as I am concerned she is wonderful. All smiles and gurgles, she has learnt to roll over (sounds like a dog!) and I am sure will soon be off and running. I will attempt to put some photos on but the msn blog thing is giving my computer some grief (those pesky cyborgs again).

  I will try to update again soon, but am not making any promises, because I will undoubtedly break them.

TTFN

 

 Update sooner than expected: Pesky cyborgs have denied photo upload, as soon as I have it sorted I shall put them on, bloody microsoft mutter mutter...........

 

Update again hopefully here is a picture of Sadie, my grandaughter.

 

After a prolonged abscence I have returned, and will once again attempt to tantalise your tonsils (assuming they haven't been removed), tickle your tastebuds and tittilate your trachea. It has indeed been a long while (bertykat's comment previous entry), but I found myself coming onto spaces and reading the sites that I like, but not really having much to say for myself. So I thought, why not save it up and write something witty once a week, but alas my life seemed to be bereft of Chaplinesque escapades, heroic and intrepid adventures or romantic and passionate affairs (the wife vetoed any activity on the last one). Along with this I have been away on work continuously for the last 4 months and when I am at home I have to catch up with all my outstanding work leaving little spare time (by now you should have tears streaming down your face being moved to great pity due to my perilous and dire circumstance!).

That said I have news and it is not good news. I am no longer allowed to drink Guinness (hence the title) or indeed any alcohol. Confused, let me explain. Travelling about as we do, we visit many places (Newcastle, Sunderland, Blackpool, Nottingham, Southend, Coventry, Birmingham etc etc) and as you can see most are cities. What do you find in cities? bars, clubs and kebab houses to name but a few. And I have to admit that I have partaken of a fair few of the products of these establishments. To this end I had put on weight (so easy to put on, blody impossible to get off) but did not think much about it. Until the 21st July 2006 that is. The sequence of events went something like this. Me to other half (who is a nurse ) "it's really strange for the last couple of days I have been really thirsty and am drinking pints of water and squash like no tomorrow", other half "go and get your glucose checked your probably diabetic", me "ha ha very funny". The following day in to see the vets and lo and behold glucose count somewhat high (should be between 3-7 mine was 19. Blood taken and confirmed last week, type 2 diabetic, bugger. The vet (sorry doctor) had one final twist, my liver enzymes (whatever they may be) are slightly high so give up drinking for a while, double bugger with a cherry on top. So ( to the cries of told you so from the other half) I have embarked on a low Gi diet, fitness regime and all round healthier lifestyle, and to be honest it has not been too bad. Although drinking pints of Iced water in Newcastle was quite hard (luckily the weather was very hot and water was possibly the best drink anyway). I can also say that I have alreay lost 10 pounds (and no it is not down the back of the chair) it probably helps that I ate fairly healthy anyway (obviously not the kebabs, but just too much). The worst thing about all this is that it was really self inflicted, so be warned all those who drink too much, put on weight and think it will be allright. The good thing was I have never smoked, because that combined with being a diabetic really does muck you up.

So from now on I will be boring you with how my diet and exercise regime is going (can you put graphs and charts on here?). On a positive note the doc says that the liver is remarkably resistant (in moderation) and will recover in short notice but I think that abstinence is probably the best way forward. If you can hear huge sobs and much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the backround it is not me but the landlord of my local. Apparently he has cancelled his 4 week hoilday to Barbados due to the downturn in profit. An even more positive note will be the money saved which I can spend on the computer to make it really sleek and sexy (is it possible for a computer to be sleek never mind sexy, am I in danger of being a geek, will this entry never end?).

TTFN

Well as the shortest day (21st) fades into memory and the nights fair start drawing in we, mosey on down to fireworks night, christmas and then 2007. I thought this might be the earliest reference to xmas, but already at work we have had the menu for this xmas bash and the hard sell of tickets for the draw is under way. How I hate this relentless circle. It does not seem 10 minutes from the last one and I am sure some saddo is already planning christmas bash 2008. When I am supreme ruler of the universe Xmas will not be allowed to occur until sometime around the 23rd of december and will be over at midnight on the 26th. My birthday on the other hand will be celebrated throughout the whole month of July and everybody will be required to give me expensive techno gadget type presents, but there will be lots of cake (and guinness).

I couldn't believe it when I looked at the date of the last entry, surely it wasn't 16 days ago. The time at work seems to have dragged, but real time is zipping by, it must be something to do with my age. Unfortunately the summer up here seems to have gone and it has been quite wet recently. For those of you in the South East thats the stuff that you used to get out of the taps, but now leaks into the ground. I like statistics (ooeeerr missus) and the best one was that Thames water manages to loose one lake windermere's full every year, 72 billion gallons apparently. You would have thought that someone might have noticed that, but obviously not. I am sure that if you started filling up the directors houses with that lot then something might be done, but then again probably not.

Other than complain about xmas, summer and water loss it has been fairly quiet in the Highlands. Other than child number 2 getting married last saturday of course. She was originally due to be married in Jan but was visited by the stork and gave birth in May, so the wedding was delayed until last saturday. All went spiffingly well and the weather held for photos etc. I may put some on, but I am not sure if the world is ready for pictures of family in Kilts!!!!! The smarter ones amongst you will have already realised that if she now has a child that makes me......yes you guessed it.....a Grandad. How can this happen to one so young I ask you. I am most definitely NOT the grandad type I own no pipe or slippers and have no cardies or colostomy bags in my draws. It's not fair. But I have to say even though I am far too young the baby (sadie) is absolutely gorgeous and there will probably be pictures of her as well. I think thats about enough of the nice side of me and I will have to go and be mean and nasty and get my balance back.

TTFN

Greeeeetings one and all. I have been in the wilderness for a while and have returned to civilisation. Since my last dip into the blogosphere (over a month ago) I have traveled dark and dangerous paths and read arcane and strange articles on Netromancy (no not necromancy but my very own made up word).

I shall start at the beginning like wot all good story tellers does.

I have been designing and building a website and hopefully the fruition of all my labour will soon be available to the world at large. I casually thought that when I embarked on this project that it would be easy to a computer literate like wot I is. How wrong I was. Even a simple site requires a fair amount of work and that is where  the arcane and strange articles come in. I have read HTML, XTML, JAVA script books  and a variety of "how to make your website beautiful and dynamic" tomes. Some of these were written in Hieratic or Aramaic or some such ancient language. I have discovered that I quite like books with pictures and really, really easy to follow scripting lines. But hopefully, now that I have sold the rest of my soul, it will be online soon.

Aside from the travails of the webworld. I have been travelling to those dark territories know as Englandshire.  We travelled many leagues on demonic asphalt ribbons (M6, M5, M4, M1, M74, M3, M25, M11) and learnt a whole new range of words and dance moves as I shall endeavour to explain. We left the beautiful and scenic and utterly gorgeous Scottish Highlands (where we have a plentiful supply of lovely fresh water, very little traffic and even less pollution) and drove to Milton Keynes where we stayed the night. What a strange place, the roundabouts are called things like K1, H8 etc and the town centre is weird. The grid layout is interesting but I prefer my town centres to be traditional  (kebab shops, shoe shops, charity shops etc) but we did have a nice meal and a few beers. Then we went to our main destination which was SARF-END (Southend to the more couth). The hotel we were in was nice and you have to admire the patriotism of the local population (evrybody wears England tops and have St George's flags waving from their car) but the seafront, yes well. There were gangs of kids (in all their chav glory) fighting, old men fighting, women fighting, people being chased with pool cues all done whilst shouting in the best cockney overtones. How I love the British seaside (see previous entry about Blackpool) . The women could have been straight out of Viz (Sharon and Tracy) and I am sorry but some people should not wear high heels, tight white lycra tops and ultra short black fake leather mini skirts. We were drinking in one pub, listening to the worlds strangest DJ (he only had one record which was nice if you liked YMCA, the Birdie song, the Time Warp, some strange accordion tune etc etc) and watching the choreographed dance routines (I haven't laughed so much in ages). Outside we could see the local police attempting to close a pub full of rioters whilst young mums got completely wasted and dropped their fag ash, drinks et al onto the pram they were holding. Ah yes the joys of the seaside. The oddest bit was that the far end of the front was quiet and they served you beer in plastic glassess whilst in downtown (war zone of your choice) you got served in good old fashioned heavy, excellent weapon, glass, seemed strange to me.

After the Bank holiday we sauntered across country to Newquay, where we had a nice night (and kebab) whilst watching the surf dudes try to find enough money amongst themselves to buy a pint. I say get a job instead of enjoying yourselves all summer long, with no worries, no hassles just surfing and partying (ba****ds)!. Then we came home via Liverpool (top night out, great curry, Cavern Club and Cavern Pub and good live music) and returned eventually from whence we came.

Well in a nutshell that is what has been occupying me for the last 6 weeks, and for those who care (and also those that don't) I shall attemp to blog more often.

By the way the Latin phrase at the top means I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear. This and other phrases can be found here.

Well adieu for now. And it is nice to see NLPH back as well, please visit (the link is over to the left) and tell her how wonderfull and brilliantly funny she is. Welcome back Mother Superior!

 

Hello to all those frequent and not so frequent visitors. I have not abandoned my blog ( and yes Joss, I haven't forgotten, and shall respond in due course).  I am currently very busy at work and most stupidly I promised the other half that I would create a website for her (she and a friend are setting up a small business). Unfortunately to do this I had to teach myself Html, Xtml, Javascript and How to use other web authoring tools, as well as how to create banners, logos etc using a marvellous graphics tool called GIMP. I should really have said no, but I didn't. I also have to photograph all their products for display and set up numerous other web thingies for their site. I am also not being paid for this which considering I am freelancing (and the going rate for this lot is several thousand quid) is a bit rich. Never mind when they become millionaires I am sure they will buy me a guiness or two.

Hopefully I will be back to regular updates on the blog thing and will respond with all my wit and panache to having Socrates et al thrown at me.

TTFN